The most common transactional flaws performed by one person against others :
1. Winning too much - The need to won at all costs and in all situations - when it matters, when it doesn't and when it's totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value - The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
Its common leaders like to run the show. It is extremely difficult for successful people to listen to other people tell them something that they already know without communicating somehow that either "we already knew that" or " "we know a better way.".
Consider you went to your boss and suggest him some idea. And in return your boss said - "good idea, but it would be better if you tried it this way". Imagine how you would be feeling. Definitely commitment will drop - thoughts would be - some or other peer would definitely be doing something on this. My manager have already have this in his plan - he will guide further to proceed on this. As the your idea didn't remain your idea now - it seems like you are working on your manager idea.
As a leader - The higher up you go in the organization, the more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself.
3. Passing judgement - The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
Don't take sides, be neutral. Just say "Thank you" or "Thanks I hadn't considered that" or "Thanks, You have given me something to think about".
Consider you walking with a broken leg in doctors cabin, and doctor keeps you bugging with how did you broke it - whether it was accident, or some fight etc. You expect him to care about just fixing your leg. Leader need to extend the same - 'doctor's mission-neutral' purpose while dealing with people.
4. Making destructive comments - The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sharp and witty.
Try this, before speaking, ask yourself:
1. Will this comment help our customers?
2. Will this comment help our company?
3. Will this comment help the person I'm talking to?
4. Will this comment help the person I'm talking about?
If all answers are no, no need to say that comment.
5. Starting with "No", "But, "However" - The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, "I'm right You'r wrong."
6. Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we're smarter than they think we are. Try this three step drill -
a) Pause before opening your mouth to ask yourself "Is anything I say worth it?"
b) conclude that it isn't
c) say Thank You
7. Speaking when angry : Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity, or "Let me explain why that won't work": The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren't asked.
9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behaviour as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
Stop blaming others for the choices you made - and that goes with double emphasis for the choices that turned out well. Remember no one can change the past - what we can do best is accept the past and move on and Work better on our future.
14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly. Its simple and many would claim they do not play favorites.
Think, after a long trip when you return home, you become more excited to meet your dog - reasons may be he runs to door while car is parked outside, or he never says bad to you etc. Have broader and real perspective in professional life also.
15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we're wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
Reference: What Got You Here Won't Got You There by Marshall Goldsmith with Mark Reiter
1. Winning too much - The need to won at all costs and in all situations - when it matters, when it doesn't and when it's totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value - The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
Its common leaders like to run the show. It is extremely difficult for successful people to listen to other people tell them something that they already know without communicating somehow that either "we already knew that" or " "we know a better way.".
Consider you went to your boss and suggest him some idea. And in return your boss said - "good idea, but it would be better if you tried it this way". Imagine how you would be feeling. Definitely commitment will drop - thoughts would be - some or other peer would definitely be doing something on this. My manager have already have this in his plan - he will guide further to proceed on this. As the your idea didn't remain your idea now - it seems like you are working on your manager idea.
As a leader - The higher up you go in the organization, the more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself.
3. Passing judgement - The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
Don't take sides, be neutral. Just say "Thank you" or "Thanks I hadn't considered that" or "Thanks, You have given me something to think about".
Consider you walking with a broken leg in doctors cabin, and doctor keeps you bugging with how did you broke it - whether it was accident, or some fight etc. You expect him to care about just fixing your leg. Leader need to extend the same - 'doctor's mission-neutral' purpose while dealing with people.
4. Making destructive comments - The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sharp and witty.
Try this, before speaking, ask yourself:
1. Will this comment help our customers?
2. Will this comment help our company?
3. Will this comment help the person I'm talking to?
4. Will this comment help the person I'm talking about?
If all answers are no, no need to say that comment.
5. Starting with "No", "But, "However" - The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, "I'm right You'r wrong."
6. Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we're smarter than they think we are. Try this three step drill -
a) Pause before opening your mouth to ask yourself "Is anything I say worth it?"
b) conclude that it isn't
c) say Thank You
7. Speaking when angry : Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity, or "Let me explain why that won't work": The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren't asked.
9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behaviour as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
Stop blaming others for the choices you made - and that goes with double emphasis for the choices that turned out well. Remember no one can change the past - what we can do best is accept the past and move on and Work better on our future.
14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly. Its simple and many would claim they do not play favorites.
Think, after a long trip when you return home, you become more excited to meet your dog - reasons may be he runs to door while car is parked outside, or he never says bad to you etc. Have broader and real perspective in professional life also.
15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we're wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
Reference: What Got You Here Won't Got You There by Marshall Goldsmith with Mark Reiter
No comments:
Post a Comment